Saturday, February 23, 2013

I am having a difficult time not being able to talk to my mom everyday.  The car rides home from work everyday our one of the worst.  That's when I would call and speak to her everyday.  And today, Saturday, I woke up and was letting the pups out and feed them and the cat.  And I wanted to talk to my mom, so I had this burst of energy and did laundry and cleaned to get me through the pull of needing to talk to her.  I am praying for this ache to go away and believing it will, it just takes time. 

This week, I came to a realization for me.  During my conversations with my mom, I always heard about the good she did.  But at her funeral, I actually got to see the proof.  My mom taught adults how to read, to help them succeed.  I met three of her students that day.  I was so proud to be her daughter, proud of my mother and proud of her students.  But it has made me ponder.  Am I doing enough for the Lord?  And I am coming to the answer no.   There are a ton of excuses that come, we just changed churches, I work late, I have to have time for my family.  But I keep asking myself is my faith dead because there is no action?   I wittness to my co workers but outside of everything I am not serving.  I think that's my issue, I need to be serving somewhere. 

My mothers whole life was about serving.  I want and need to make a change.  I want to make a difference like my mother.  I am amazed by her.    For goodness sake the mayor of my hometown named February 5, 2013 Gladys Elanore Winton Day.  You go mama!

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